If You Do This in the Gym, I’ll Punch You in the Throat
Posted by Brad Campbell
23
Jan, 2010
An Infamous Brad Campbell Rant About Foolish Gym Behavior…
I swear I can’t go the gym without having a funny story to share with you guys. Seriously, it’s impossible. There’s just too much irony and way too many meatheads to not see something hilarious (and by hilarious, I mean frustrating in a way that makes me want to gouge my eyes out).
Alright, so I’m at the gym the other night, minding my business, doing my thing, when I can’t help but notice this stereotypical meathead hanging out on the squat rack. I’ll give the kid some credit because he had a major case of bird legs and he was actually working on them (which is better than most guys can say) – first with about 20 sets of squats and then he moved onto calves.
No problems yet, except for the fact that he was hogging the damn squat rack for the length of my entire workout, which meant I had to improvise and hit my quads with some Bulgarian split squats (ouch). Anyways, as I watched this kid check himself out in the mirror for about 5-minutes in between each set, I slowly started to get irritated.
Then, his girlfriend musta finished her cardio workout because all of a sudden there’s this chick hanging out with him, which extends his rest periods to about 10-minutes of “OMG story time.”
Gimme a break dude, talk to your girl when you’re done with your damn workout.
I think he was one of those paranoid, over-protective boyfriends who has to have his girlfriend right there with him at the gym, but at the same time is never more than like two feet away from her because he’s scared other dudes will be checking her out (you’ve all seen that guy before).
Anyways, the happy couple who apparently think they’re on a date are not only preventing me from doing my planned bodybuilding workout because of their time-consuming shenanigans… but they’re starting to get all touch-feely as if there’s no one else in the gym.
Really?
It gets worse. After cranking out some sets of standing calf raises (again, he gets some props for working on the legs), he feels the need to do donkey calf raises. Here we go. Next thing I know I see this clown tell his girlfriend to mount him, as he bends over at the waist and does his reps.
Ridiculous.
I felt like punching him in the throat.
You’re not Arnold Schwarzenegger bro and no one believes for a second that it would be tough to do donkey calf raises with a 95-lb sorority girl on your back.
I don’t know, maybe I was just pissy because they were completely blocking off the squat rack, but seeing this dude grunt and huff and puff with his frail girlfriend on his back, just sent me over the edge. Plus, there was a seated calf machine like 5-feet away.
I think he was just trying to impress his girlfriend…either that or he was suffering from meatheaditis (that’s a new medical term I just made up, lol).
If you’re going to take more than 90-seconds rest in between working sets, you better be either puking, contemplating puking or getting a really big drink of water.
If you’re checking yourself out in the mirror, giggling with your girlfriend, fixing your hair, talking on your cell phone or reading a magazine, you’re wasting your time and drastically reducing your chances of making any progress – whether it be fat loss or building lean muscle.
I know none of YOU pull this crap…I just wanted to share that story with you. It was kinda funny and extremely irritating, all at the same time.
Okay, I’m done with donkey calf raises and I’m done with my rant. Good to get that off my chest.
Anyways, who else is absolutely RIPPING it up this weekend? I’m about to annihilate the lean body workout I have planned for today. Time to get in the zone…talk soon.
Your Coach,
Brad Campbell
PS – Here’s some bomb-diggity workouts you might want to check out: Navy SEALs Workout and Workouts To Build Muscle
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