If You Do This in the Gym, I’ll Punch You in the Throat
An Infamous Brad Campbell Rant About Foolish Gym Behavior…
I swear I can’t go the gym without having a funny story to share with you guys. Seriously, it’s impossible. There’s just too much irony and way too many meatheads to not see something hilarious (and by hilarious, I mean frustrating in a way that makes me want to gouge my eyes out).
Alright, so I’m at the gym the other night, minding my business, doing my thing, when I can’t help but notice this stereotypical meathead hanging out on the squat rack. I’ll give the kid some credit because he had a major case of bird legs and he was actually working on them (which is better than most guys can say) – first with about 20 sets of squats and then he moved onto calves.
No problems yet, except for the fact that he was hogging the damn squat rack for the length of my entire workout, which meant I had to improvise and hit my quads with some Bulgarian split squats (ouch). Anyways, as I watched this kid check himself out in the mirror for about 5-minutes in between each set, I slowly started to get irritated.
Then, his girlfriend musta finished her cardio workout because all of a sudden there’s this chick hanging out with him, which extends his rest periods to about 10-minutes of “OMG story time.”
Gimme a break dude, talk to your girl when you’re done with your damn workout.
I think he was one of those paranoid, over-protective boyfriends who has to have his girlfriend right there with him at the gym, but at the same time is never more than like two feet away from her because he’s scared other dudes will be checking her out (you’ve all seen that guy before).
Anyways, the happy couple who apparently think they’re on a date are not only preventing me from doing my planned weight training workout because of their time-consuming shenanigans…but they’re starting to get all touch-feely as if there’s no one else in the gym.
Really?
It gets worse. After cranking out some sets of standing calf raises (again, he gets some props for working on the legs), he feels the need to do donkey calf raises. Here we go. Next thing I know I see this clown tell his girlfriend to mount him, as he bends over at the waist and does his reps.
Ridiculous.
I felt like punching him in the throat.
You’re not Arnold Schwarzenegger bro and no one believes for a second that it would be tough to do donkey calf raises with a 95-lb sorority girl on your back.
I don’t know, maybe I was just pissy because they were completely blocking off the squat rack, but seeing this dude grunt and huff and puff with his frail girlfriend on his back, just sent me over the edge. Plus, there was a seated calf machine like 5-feet away.
I think he was just trying to impress his girlfriend…either that or he was suffering from meatheaditis (that’s a new medical term I just made up, lol).
If you’re going to take more than 90-seconds rest in between working sets, you better be either puking, contemplating puking or getting a really big drink of water.
If you’re checking yourself out in the mirror, giggling with your girlfriend, fixing your hair, talking on your cell phone or reading a magazine, you’re wasting your time and drastically reducing your chances of making any progress – whether it be fat loss or building lean muscle.
I know none of YOU pull this crap…I just wanted to share that story with you. It was kinda funny and extremely irritating, all at the same time.
Okay, I’m done with donkey calf raises and I’m done with my rant. Good to get that off my chest.
Anyways, who else is absolutely RIPPING it up this weekend? I’m about to annihilate the lean body workout I have planned for today. Time to get in the zone…talk soon.
Your Coach,
Brad Campbell
PS – Here’s some bomb-diggity workouts you might want to check out: Jason Statham Workout, Cristiano Ronaldo Workout, Randy Couture Workout, Jessica Alba Workout and Fergie’s Workout.
Posted by Brad Campbell | in Brad's Rants | 10 Comments
I can relate Brad. There was a guy at my local gym the other day who felt the need to grunt. I know people do this alot but this was a full blown, look at me grunt as he was doing bloody sit ups! It sounded like a cow getting stabbed and made EVERYONE in the gym jump every single rep. Meatheaditis at its best.
Another note, im sure everyone has seen the typical crosstrainer user who thinks they need to push and pull, not with their arms and legs, no no, but with their entire body swinging from side to side like some kind of drunk possessed looney. I kinda feel bad for them but it does irritate the hell out of me.
AND! Sorry last one, people who do situps on a swiss ball and just bounce up and down thinking that works their abs. Ok im done
LOL, sit-ups…come on buddy. That’s too funny, gimme a break. I’ve seen the drunken swinging act at my gym as well – you have to wonder if these ppl are on something. The last one you mentioned is really what makes me anti-gym. There’s just way too many ppl who have no clue what they’re doing. I mean, I’m glad they’re making an effort, but all they’re gonna do is hurt themselves if they don’t consult a trainer. Awesome stuff Tom…
-b
This article got me thinking about working calves with more intensity (I am weird like that). I am fortunate to have mutant calves and this kind of usual work does nothing for me– I could lift the meathead, his girlfriend and her girlfriend with my calves. I have been experimenting with some one-legged jump sets holding a dumbell in the opposite hand (which is something I read). The stability work (tying to stay balanced in 3-D) that comes with this adds an interesting component. Any thoughts on this Brad?
You’re lucky if you have naturally strong and formed calves, I’m jealous. I have major bird legs myself but through LOTS of hard work, have actually managed to get decent sized calves and fairly defined legs. Now that would be hilarious – you with a dude and 2 chicks on your back – I wouldn’t even get mad, I’d just laugh and take a picture
I like that you’re getting creative and advancing. The one legged jumps with db would be awesome for both targeting type II muscle fibers, burning cals and improving balance and stability. Plus, by activating the stabilizing muscles, you’re getting a lot more bang for your buck and you’re prob getting a fairly good ab workout (indirectly) as well. Especially if you stay on the very ball of your foot, I think this would shock the calve muscles nicely. This move is a nice mix of weight training, plyometrics and stabilization work…and if you’re going explosively, will give you a nice afterburn effect.
I’d be curious to see what changes you notice and what muscle groups were the most sore after you did this? Did you feel it in your calves the most or more in the quads?
Yah, I’ve got some crazy movements like this one coming up for everyone. This hybrid stuff is awesome and allows you to get a lot done in a small amount of time. Got some good ‘indirect’ ab training moves that I’m doing videos on.
Good stuff Scott…
-b
I feel your pain. I go to the university gym a block away from my house and all the sorority girls are there trying to impress the guys, but not be too obvious. The guys are trying to impress the girls (they’re usually not very impressive), and they waste all sorts of time. One time, this guy was working the preacher curl in front of a Chi Omega hottie and was sitting there for at least 15 minutes flexing in the mirror. Once he stood up, I asked him if he was done with it, he said, no, I’ve got six more sets, you should just forget about it for an hour. I told him he could forget that and that he WAS Done. The girl started cracking up and so did everyone else around. He later sent his buddies to harass me, but it was nothing. Get in, get out of my way, and get out. I’m there to workout. Know what I mean?
LOL, “forget about it for an hour.” that’s classic….glad you put him in his place. your mantra at the end is exactly my philosophy when i’m working out – it’s all business when i’m investing time in my workouts…get outta the way…i’m here to make changes, not socialize or hang out.
-b
Brad,,don’t even get me started… I see so much crazy crap in training and nutrition its unbelievable. I am the first to admit I try some weird crap if it meets my criteria and logically will work, but to look stupid for no reason at all and sitting in the gym like its a dating club or social network site for 5-10 minutes between sets is beyond me… what are they training…fat lazy cells?
haha, yep, i’ve got no problem with trying new things…so long as you’re working hard and not hogging eqpt while giggling w/ your g/f. and ppl wonder why they never look any different…
wtf, i know its abit late for a comment but at gym today, these two guys were just chatting the whole damn thing..sitting on the machines and just talking..not using them..i didnt really care since i was using more freeweights..but its just annoying..people are at the gym to workout not to just sit around and hog the machines…
then the guy goes into the bench press..does like what 20 pounds + bar? so about 40 pound bench press? and does 6 reps…gets up and just talks for another 5 minutes..wtf i dun care about the small weight.but the 5 minute rest WITH constant chit chatting..i was about to go up and smack the guy..
his not a meat head…his a skinny guy…his a skinny fat guy..those skinny people with flabby arms and shit…and he was spotting a sleeveless shirt too…
but then again..i shuldnt complain too much and just focus on myself
LOL…maybe if this guy was actually serious about lifting, instead of being at the gym for social hour, he’d be able to lift more than 40 lbs for his bench press. It’s so frustrating, it does make it hard to concentrate on your own workout. That’s why I got so “anti-gym” for a while…just couldn’t stand all the dumb behavior. Thanks for sharing man, that was cracking me up…
-b