So I was searching around YouTube trying to find some funny meathead videos to share with you guys, just for a little change of pace.  Wouldn't you know, there were plenty to choose from.  The hardest part was narrowing it down to just one video...maybe I'll make this a new series, who knows.

This one is probably a pretty good representation of what you'd see when the guys from Jersey Shore hit the gym, haha.  There is some explicit language in the video, so if you're easily offended, please don't watch. If you can tolerate it though, it's pretty hilarious, as we can all relate to "that guy" they're portraying at the gym.  Enjoy...

To recap, here's a checklist for all you pre-club pumpers out there (you know who you are):

1. Chain
2. Smile
3. SICK watch
4. Swag
5. Set of bi's
6. Set of tri's
7. Check the pump in the mirror
8. Straight Clubbin' time

Wait a second, that's MY routine...they musta been following me last Saturday.

Tell me you haven't seen each of these guys in the gym before.  The "what's up" guy always cracks me up...that dude acts like it's homecoming when he steps into the gym.  Like he hasn't seen his "family" in months, even though it's been about 12 hours and no one there even knows his name.

Then you have "Mr. Annoying" that appears to be completely ignorant to the fact that you're actually doing work.  I literally had that same thing happen to me last week in the middle of an intense set of split squats (BTW, read this post on the benefits of single leg training if you haven't already).

I'm thinking, dude I can barely breathe, my iPod is cranked up and I'm about ready to puke on you...but please, let me stop mid-set, put down my weight, pause my tunes and attend to your question.  (Guess that makes me a little more like "Mr. Serious")

After all that, he said something like, "bro, you're pretty ripped but I noticed you're not lifting much weight."

Yep.  That's what compelled him to be "that guy."

Funny thing was, I was instantly thinking something was wrong.  Not sure why, but I just didn't expect a stranger to tap me on the shoulder during a set and start talking.  Once I finally paused my iPod and heard his comment, I was like REALLY?  That couldn't have waited?  Haha...

Let me know some of your favorite "that guy" stereotypes you've seen at the gym.

And whatever you do during  your workouts, don't be "that guy."

Your Coach,

Brad Campbell

PS - For non-meathead bodybuilding routines, view these: Workout Routines To Build Muscle

I'm writing you this letter to kindly suggest a change in the fashion statement you just made at my local gym.  As you hammered out 75 sets of t-bar rows using nearly every single 45-lb plate in the entire building, I couldn't help but notice the neon yellow string tank top you were sporting.

I wanted to let you know that string tank tops paired with tight, tapered windbreaker pants is highly infuriating and may be sending the wrong signal.  Or, perhaps it's sending the appropriate signal, but other gym-goers shouldn't have to deal with that shit.

After all, nothing screams "Hey, look at me...I'm a big dumb meathead!" louder than some dude wearing a string tank top.  String tank tops make me want to gouge my eyes out.  I'm shocked that anyone would ever wear these things.  Apparently, you meatheads think it's cool to show off your over-sized back muscles.  I'd have to disagree.

There's just something nasty and irritating about seeing a 215 lb man with a little spaghetti strap-looking string of cotton running down the middle of his back, allowing the world to see his lumpy lats.  Gross.

Leave something to the imagination, please.  No one wants to stare at your thick-ass back and you need to get that thing waxed anyways.

It's understandable that with your extremely limited range of muscle-bound-motion, you couldn't reach it with a razor, but couldn't that guy who yells at you and slaps you in the face between sets get it for you?

And don't worry, the staged grunting, careful selection of only exercises that allow you to stack on the maximum amount of plates, and the purposeful dropping of that ungodly amount of weight after each of your seventy-five sets of two reps, is sufficient enough to send the message that you're by far the strongest douche in the gym.

In other words, we get it.  You can lift a shit-ton of weight for two repetitions, but couldn't run to the end of the dumbbell rack if your life depended on it, nor could you reach up and grab a hundred dollar bill if I held it tauntingly just six inches above your fat head.  Quite impressive.

It is my hope in writing you this letter that you might consider toning down your animal-like behavior just a notch or two on the meathead dial.  I'd strongly encourage you to start by burning all twenty-seven string tank tops that you own - yes, even the hot pink one - and invest in some loose-fitting tee shirts...you know, those things that all the other guys are wearing at the gym...

If you could grant me this one favor, it'd sure be a huge step towards me not purposely taking my own vision the next time I visit our gym for a functional workout that actually allows me to perform better at everyday activities.  Yes, I could come at a different time, but I've already tried this avoidance tactic and your six hour marathon workouts (well, eight hours if I include mirror flexing time) make it impossible to escape your presence.

I genuinely appreciate you taking the time out of your supplement pill-popping to read this letter and give it some consideration.  I know I speak for the other gym members when I say that the torching of your string tank tops would have to go down as one of the proudest moments in the history of the anti-meathead movement.

In order to prevent meathead behavior withdrawal syndrome (MBWS), we'll address the tapered pants, beastly grunting and earthquake-worthy slamming of weights at a future date, after ashes from the burning of your neon string tank top collection has settled.

Insincerely,

Meathead Hater and Lean Body Lover

(aka Brad Campbell)

PS - You must not have noticed, but they have several water fountains available that are free to use... there's no need to carry around that gallon of water anymore.

Resource for "semi-meatheads": Workout Routines To Build Muscle

I swear I can't go the gym without having a funny story to share with you guys.  Seriously, it's impossible.  There's just too much irony and way too many meatheads to not see something hilarious (and by hilarious, I mean frustrating in a way that makes me want to gouge my eyes out).

Alright, so I'm at the gym the other night, minding my business, doing my thing, when I can't help but notice this stereotypical meathead hanging out on the squat rack.  I'll give the kid some credit because he had a major case of bird legs and he was actually working on them (which is better than most guys can say) - first with about 20 sets of squats and then he moved onto calves.

No problems yet, except for the fact that he was hogging the damn squat rack for the length of my entire workout, which meant I had to improvise and hit my quads with some Bulgarian split squats (ouch).  Anyways, as I watched this kid check himself out in the mirror for about 5-minutes in between each set, I slowly started to get irritated.

Then, his girlfriend musta finished her cardio workout because all of a sudden there's this chick hanging out with him, which extends his rest periods to about 10-minutes of "OMG story time."

Gimme a break dude, talk to your girl when you're done with your damn workout.

I think he was one of those paranoid, over-protective boyfriends who has to have his girlfriend right there with him at the gym, but at the same time is never more than like two feet away from her because he's scared other dudes will be checking her out (you've all seen that guy before).

Anyways, the happy couple who apparently think they're on a date are not only preventing me from doing my planned bodybuilding workout because of their time-consuming shenanigans... but they're starting to get all touch-feely as if there's no one else in the gym.

Really?

It gets worse.  After cranking out some sets of standing calf raises (again, he gets some props for working on the legs), he feels the need to do donkey calf raises.  Here we go.  Next thing I know I see this clown tell his girlfriend to mount him, as he bends over at the waist and does his reps.

Ridiculous.

I felt like punching him in the throat.

You're not Arnold Schwarzenegger bro and no one believes for a second that it would be tough to do donkey calf raises with a 95-lb sorority girl on your back.

I don't know, maybe I was just pissy because they were completely blocking off the squat rack, but seeing this dude grunt and huff and puff with his frail girlfriend on his back, just sent me over the edge.  Plus, there was a seated calf machine like 5-feet away.

I think he was just trying to impress his girlfriend...either that or he was suffering from meatheaditis (that's a new medical term I just made up, lol).

If you're going to take more than 90-seconds rest in between working sets, you better be either puking, contemplating puking or getting a really big drink of water.

If you're checking yourself out in the mirror, giggling with your girlfriend, fixing your hair, talking on your cell phone or reading a magazine, you're wasting your time and drastically reducing your chances of making any progress - whether it be fat loss or building lean muscle.

I know none of YOU pull this crap...I just wanted to share that story with you.  It was kinda funny and extremely irritating, all at the same time.

Okay, I'm done with donkey calf raises and I'm done with my rant.  Good to get that off my chest.

Anyways, who else is absolutely RIPPING it up this weekend?  I'm about to annihilate the lean body workout I have planned for today.  Time to get in the zone...talk soon.

Your Coach,

Brad Campbell

PS - Here's some bomb-diggity workouts you might want to check out: Navy SEALs Workout and Workouts To Build Muscle

Other than the fact that it's much quicker to get an awesome fat-burning workout right here at home...the other thing that really annoys me about the gym is the stereotypical loud, grunting meathead walking around with his chest puffed out.  I know you know the dudes I'm talking about, too...

I was about 10 minutes into my super intense metabolic weight workout, when I headed over to knock out a quick set of incline dumbbell presses.

All Eyes On Me began to blare through the earbuds of my outdated iPod shuffle (yes, I'm probably the only person on earth who has never upgraded to a "real" iPod...but don't judge me...that day is coming very soon) and I was feeling no pain.

I grabbed the 65 lb dumbbells and laid back on the incline bench.  I was grinding out my 7th rep when my focus was interrupted with a huge thud and then another.

Turns out the meathead on the bench next to me felt the need to drop his 110lb dumbbells on the gym floor, one at a time, from about shoulder height.

UGGH...I can't stand people who lack gym etiquette and common sense, especially when you know this guy just wants everyone in the gym to look his way and notice how big and strong he is.

I glared at him in the mirror with total disgust (although I'm sure it didn't register in his tiny brain), before regaining my composure and finishing my set.  I GENTLY set my weights down, took a few breaths and then picked them back up and returned them to the dumbbell rack.  No loud thuds, unnecessary scenes or damaged equipment here.

I was off to my next few exercises in this grueling circuit workout.  Fast forward 6 minutes.  I return to the benches to crank out some explosive tricep dips.  Guess who's finally back from his stroll around the gym and ready for a second set - you guessed it - Mr. Meathead.

Instead of focusing on the lactic acid that was flooding my arms towards the end of my dips, I watched anxiously as this guy finishes off his last few grunts (oops, I meant reps) and then lets the 110 lb dumbbells fly once again from shoulder height.

Now, it's one thing if you're using some real heavy dumbbells, you give it everything you have during the set and at the end you lower them to your sides, making an honest attempt to 'set' them on the ground, but end up letting them fall the remaining few inches because you're totally exhausted.  I can understand that.

But this meathead just about caused an earthquake after each of his sets, which totaled about 3 in the entire time I was at the gym.

Hmm, not surprising that his belly stuck out farther than any of his muscles.  Way cool, bro - you can lift a really heavy weight for 5 reps, but you couldn't sprint down a flight of stairs to save your own life if your house was on fire.  Not MY picture of an ideal body, but to each his own I guess.

I just have a real short fuse when it comes to people being complete idiots at the gym.  Like I said, when it comes down to it, I'm not sure why I haven't cancelled my gym membership.

I can get the same results working out with my own body weight, a pair of adjustable dumbbells and a stability ball in my small office, garage or outdoors.

This saves so much time and has the added benefit of not causing distraction and total annoyance from random meatheads that give other fit people a bad name.  In case you've been lucky enough to do most of your workouts outside of the gym and therefore aren't quite sure just what a 'meathead' is...

The Urban Dictionary offers the following definitions:

--> An enormously muscular guy who cannot hold a conversation about anything other than weight-lifting and protein shakes.  Gets upset very quickly when he cannot complete his own sentences and thoughts. Can be found at nightclubs wearing shirts that are 10 sizes too small (if at all).  They are by far the most closely related human beings to that of apes, chimpanzees, and other primate.  They are evolutionary hindered and are less capable of following directions than my dead hampster.

--> One who wears cutoff t-shirts, lift weights, and drinks gallon jugs of water.  Usually plays football, wrestles and is very muscular.  They tend to have short hair and frequently wear sleeveless shirts.  Drinking protein shakes and shopping at Hollister are also essential parts of the average meathead's day.

--> Meatheads tend to abbreviate where they live by putting the first letter of the city, and adding -town after.  In addition to lacking high IQs, meatheads tend to stereotype things and people completely wrong.  Common meathead responses:  "Bro, let's down this protein shake then go to the gym" and "Dude that guy has a Fall Out Boy shirt...do you think he's one of those Emos?" (smashes aluminum can on head).

I have no idea if those definitions are meant to be funny, but for some reason that had me rolling.  Does anyone else see the irony in using "meatheads tend to stereotype things and people completely wrong" as part of the definition for another stereotype?  Funny stuff.

Bottom line is this - if you're strong enough to use the weight for reps, you should be strong enough to set the weight at least most of the way down, without causing damage to the equipment and without making a huge spectacle out of your workout.

Trust me, if you have a good enough body, you'll get enough attention without having to resort to foolish shenanigans that cause you to fall victim to the meathead stereotype.

This has been a random rant by Brad Campbell...and I feel much better now.

Do you agree?  Are you anti-meathead as well?  What kinds of things annoy you at the gym?

Another meathead post you might enjoy: Navy SEAL Workout